"And while it might indeed be chivalrous to carry her, as you say, it would be most unchivalrous to leave you to your own devices, impressively large and thus supportive as your feet may be.”
“My feet are not impressively large!” Penelope denied vehemently. “Your head is impressively stupid!”

Maybe it's things like this that convince my mother that Penelope is an avatar for myself.

I actually reached my word count today AND I got accepted into UW-Osh! Factoring in the dozen or so fun size butterfingers I ate, this may go down in history as the best day of my life.

I feel like I have this truly excellent world built in my head, but if I write it down I'll ruin it somehow - characterize someone incorrectly, write dialogue they would never say, or just completely get a chain of events wrong. Bleh bleh.

I made great strides in characterization today, not least by changing my MC's opening moment from crying to cursing. It's not intentional but this story keeps turning into one giant gender inversion (I am completely and madly okay w/ this). My working title is "This is Caketown," but being as it's a vaguely medieval tale about the importance of love and family and the difference between vengeance and justice, maybe that isn't the way to go.

Hooray for having a purpose!

So the latest symptom of depression to manifest itself is complete and unabashed lack of appetite. In the last two days I've eaten the equivalent of approximately two or three full meals and, I don't know, I just don't care enough to eat more? This is probably the sort of thing I should be fixing. But, as I mentioned: apathy.

Funnily enough the exact opposite is my problem w/ the story I'm writing. (I wibbled for a full minute over whether or not "writing" should have been in sarcastic quotation marks.) I have all these big ideas and I've written a little bit, but now that it actually exists I'm too emotionally involved and I'm afraid that I'll muck it up if I go any further.

Bleh bleh bleh if something good would happen to me soon that would just be the best.

My last university won't release my transcript so I can apply to a new university until I pay off or defer my student loans; I can't defer my loan until I enroll in a new university.

WHAT THE BALLS.

I kind of got a symbolic haircut after breaking up w/ a boyfriend who was 100% against me cutting said hair; unfortunately this haircut was done at home and not by anyone trained in the ancient art of haircuttery.

I have realized that this is the exact same haircut I had when I was in the seventh grade; it didn't look good then and predictably does not look good now. Now my dilemma is, do I (a) be patient and allow my hair to grow to a reasonable adult length again or (b) go even shorter so at least it's edgy and cute instead of a chubby middle schooler's haircut. The problem is that (b) is much more appealing to me b/c being patient is just the worst, but if it goes wrong I end up with a much-prolonged version of the patience outlined in (a). Also my sister doesn't want me to get a bob b/c she claims it's too similar to her own hair. Which, as you know, means that now I have to get a bob.

I've been toying w/ the idea of doing NaNoWriMo this year; I think it would be helpful for me to have a creative outlet, so I've been spending a lot of time doing research on tvtropes. To be fair probably an equal amount of time is spent creating a tab explosion as is spent actually being productive, but hey that's what the internet is for.

I make little notes to myself and then a few days later I have no idea what they mean. Examples: "oscar and andy - big gay angels?" and "penises?" and "interrupting cow - chekhov's skill" Seriously I don't know why I never learn.

My dear mother has been grating on my lately; ever since she got a job after three months of unemployment she's been acting like my unemployment is the most irritating thing in her life. I'd like to bring up how her joblessness throughout my entire high school career caused me to be the mooch in my group of friends just to prevent starvation but I don't want to open that particular can of worms. It's not as though I haven't tried - I have literally applied for a job at every business in a 20 mile radius, it's just that the economy is a shit right now and nobody wants to hire. I could also mention that she is the one who moved me away from my secure, well-paying job, but that is a similar worm-filled can I would rather keep closed. It's like a study in hypocrisy and I am tiring of it. Bleeaghgh okay rant over. Now onto the good things!

SEVEN DAYS OF GOOD, HAPPY THINGS

day 01 | a song
day 02 | a picture
day 03 | a book/ebook/fanfic
day 04 | a site
day 05 | a youtube clip
day 06 | a quote
day 07 | whatever tickles your fancy

One of my new favorite books is a darkly funny look at history called Doomed Queens: Royal Women Who Met Bad Ends. It tells the stories of the victories and defeats of queens, from 500 BCE to the 20th century, including the insane Olympias, the hilariously named Empress Wang, and the inspiring Boudicca. I can't recommend this book enough to any lady who loves being filled w/ girl power and righteous indignation.

Made these scrumptious root beer cupcakes yesterday, complete w/ picture behind the cut. I used vanilla frosting and they really do taste just like a root beer float. I am perturbed b/c there is no egg in this recipe, but as long as it keeps on being crazy delicious I won't complain.

SEVEN DAYS OF GOOD, HAPPY THINGS

day 01 | a song
day 02 | a picture
day 03 | a book/ebook/fanfic
day 04 | a site
day 05 | a youtube clip
day 06 | a quote
day 07 | whatever tickles your fancy

( tastiness ahoy! )

Last night I had avatar the last vampire slayer dreams, combined w/ me working at pick n save w/ aapa. Seriously? I need to stop falling asleep watching TV.

Taken from aesc on her birthday! Happy happy to her.

SEVEN DAYS OF GOOD, HAPPY THINGS

day 01 | a song
day 02 | a picture
day 03 | a book/ebook/fanfic
day 04 | a site
day 05 | a youtube clip
day 06 | a quote
day 07 | whatever tickles your fancy

My favorite song off of my new favorite soundtrack: Labor of Love from the Star Trek reboot, the amazing underscore to George Kirk's elegy of awesomeness.

All right! After a few weeks of self-pity and despair I rolled up the ol' metaphorical sleeves and got down to business.

When I talked to Carlie about all the ungood stuff and all the feeling bad that I am literally accomplishing nothing, she said that she's pretty sure I deserve a break after killing myself with full-time studentry and a 30-hour work week and I guess she was right. Once I decided that this is a break and not permanent blah to suffer for the rest of my life, the awesome broke through all the gray clouds.

So today I applied for a slew of jobs and finished my application to Columbia College Chicago, and made a to-do list which always makes me feel better.

Tuesday I'm touring the school and hopefully my brother comes through w/ the nepotism so I can make w/ the job at Best Buy. Hooray!

What to eat at 1 in the morning in the midst of a buffy marathon? I believe a toasted pb&j is in order!

Phew! My brother's wedding was excruciatingly awesome, and the past week has been hectic trying to catch up at work. Now it's time to plan a gigantic camping trip, make cupcake vitamins w/ Mr Bfriend, and play trombone in the pit for Cinderella. Yay summer!

From imagines!

Step 1: Put your music player on shuffle.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 20 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing.
Step 3: Strike through the songs when someone guesses both artist and track correctly.
Step 4: For those who are guessing -- looking the lyrics up on a search engine is CHEATING!

( just like meme used to make )